How do I remove myself from work place culture

[Anon35Participant]

First off I want to be apart of work place culture because being alienated from it makes my job miserable, and I don’t want to be a part of the culture I’ve aforementioned.

That culture is to moan and complain about others, so it’s ironic because to want to ensure I am not alienated from work place culture I have to be a target once and a while if that moaning.

There’s this colleague who leaves early, just Huff’s and puffs as he goes around, not even considering his other team mates.  He reminds me of me sometimes, when I was in the attitude of ” these people who think they can boss me around can f off ”

I decided to changed that mentality long ago and now work.even harder, put in the effort, try to ensure that I keep employees happy for their sake as well as mine.

However I hear second hand that someone has said ” Me and myself have had a run in ” when we haven’t, I just told them that they need to switch with me at work and that’s it, and then the following day they did the same to me and I accepted it because that’s the right thing to do.  We as a team switch in and out together on our front line duties, but I have never called that a run in, I’ve called that being a team worker, I see it is a team player but they see it and a run in.

In top of that others have said ” Myself and the annoying colleague are arguing ” when the actual truth is they are all moaning about the same person, the same things but are using me as the person to fight their own annoyances and I’m not happy.

I want to say to people who I’ve heard have said this fabricated lie about us that it’s not true and that it’s also their problem and not mines.  I don’t want to have to change myself yet again when they refuse and a team to acknowledge they themselves are the same, moaners.

I would like to add to the end of this, that I am no better than the issue I complain about, I have moaned and I think I need to stop if I want immunity to myself.

There’s one thing I’ve never done and that’s relay what someone said about another person, I just don’t do that, I wont relay anything unless they need to hear it.

I accept it’s ok for colleagues to moan but as a way of letting of steam but it should not be relayed, and it gets relayed to me.

I have physically asked that I am not relayed any complaints about me because it does me no good and I am trying to not moan about others, to move away from this toxic culture, but if they want to moan about someone then fine.

I could see it as they like me as a friend and want to be on my side but I’m back at a point where even if I myself don’t ever moan again this will still happen, so I need to learn to ignore it and in trying, but I just struggle to do it.

I want to be unapologetic and say, get over it guys, and move on but I think I struggle with that.  I’d like to learn new ways to navigate work and life.

I believe this affects me in terms of OCD because I have thought about it since 1800 pm UK yesterday and it’s not now 0600 am and it’s still on my mind.

I appreciate anyone who finds the time to respond

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