Close
#31471
Archive
Participant
Participant

    Hi dear friends.

    Do you ever get the feeling that other people are waiting to see you fail? Do they get some sort of weird pleasure out of doing so? I feel so vulnerable sometimes. I get caught up in the trap of, ‘If I  try a bit harder, maybe things will go okay’.  Of course,  it doesn’t work  quite like that. As a schoolchild, I  would stay up all night handwriting homework… I  didn’t know that our bloodsugar drops at night… I would have been writing gobbledegook. Add to that the thing about not having enough to eat etc. I had no chance at all. And tsa hers in those days ssemed to believe that, if one child in a family was a academic, then all the other siblings would be too. But that was utterly false. My sister went on to university… I  was expected to fail…  Regardless of quality of teaching… Which I found out later, was pretty crap to say the least…

    In more recent times, I have tried to give others the motivation I never had… I  love to observe things around me, but trying to make people care about anything, has just led to frustration. Not to mention anger from those around me…

    “My friend, it doesn’t matter how much you try, you cannot make others care, about anything at all…  So exactly when are you going to finally give up trying…

    From your special friend”

    That statement brought me to tears… It is oh so true… I  would get so wound up a out the injustices in the world… But no one else cared.  When  disaster hits, I can say that; Well no one did anything to stop that did they? I here y rest my case…

    Do you have regular contact from relatives? Have you “paid it forward”, and then found that there is no one to help us when we ourselves need that help? Why does no one care about me?  Why do people avoid supporting me? I must have something good about me? Surely I have some worth in this world?  When it comes to leaving a will, I don’t have anything of material value to give anyone…

    What I do go with, is the statement that, An inheritance, is something you give to someone,  but a legacy, is something you leave inside them… (Craig d. Lounsbrough). As a grandad I  rather like that one… It just means being yourself… No airs or graces… Just time, you cannot put a price on that… And if Mum and Dad are at work all the time to make ends meet, then good old Grandma and Grandad,  plus extended family will help our children become happy people. Pride used to be generated from the type of work we do, but nowadays it has to be built from inside ourselves. Small victories count big these days.

    Tonight I will be painting a wall… A feature wall, in a brave colour… bold, but not too dark… I have mixed some from paint in the shed… New prices are totally stupid! I wait with baited breath to take the lid off the mixing tin…

    So… For this week then… let’s not try so hard to influence people around us… let them figure it out for themselves… It is their world too… And don’t forget to have fun along the way…

    Let’s  remember about our ‘smile grabbing’, It costs nothing, but gives such a lot of joy in our hearts, and that to me, is what life is all about…

    Until next week then, dear friends, Friday 7 June, at around 6pm uk time, right here…

    Wannabe