Reply To: Wannabefree’s Friday night Blog…

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Good evening, Dear friends…

When thinking of something to write tonight, I came across the idea, that maybe we all get sometimes; ‘Is what I have really OCD?’  Well the fact that we question it, may well confirm it, cos compulsive doubt is so prevalent in our day to day lives. We can even doubt a diagnosis… “I’m not sure that I have OCD, Can you reassure me?”.

Society loves to give us ‘labels’. Some can be flattering, and some most definitely not. After all, Does someone automatically become a celebrity, if they themselves believe they should be celebrated in some way?

If that is to be the case, then we are all celebrities in our own right.

The word ‘Obsessive’ can have many meanings, often portrayed in the negative sense… But with us, it is largely trying to find something positive, in a world that is so often put into a negative light. Indeed, the media can be seen to turn stuff into mere entertainment for us, whilst the participants aren’t really having a very nice time at all, and all in the name of becoming famous in some way. Some shows pay the participants… But I tend to feel that they are doing stuff that, no amount of money and fame can appease. They cannot see themselves as mere ‘victims’.

So-called ‘Reality’ shows aren’t real at all… They are like laboratory animals being observed by the viewer, with certain sanctions and rewards, to see how they react, in a situation, most of us would literally not want to be anywhere near…

And presenters… Mocking rather than supporting anyone.  It’s all just a laugh, at someone else’s misfortune and emotional expense…

Do we gain anything by watching others suffer? Not really, at least, not for long… We are best to improve our own self-image by working on our own self image itself… Consider your qualities, skills, life experience. Joys and heartaches, the stuff we come through daily… Don’t give absolutely everything you have… Cos you may find that, in return, no one gives us anything, and we end up feeling bereft.

There are people in life who just take,take,take….

Conversely, there are people in life who Give, give, give… Some to the point of burnout… Exhaustion even.

We hear about this in the caring professions… A care environment can have a high turnover of staff, and not necessarily due to the residents themselves. ‘Toxic’ staff appear everywhere… And they ruin staff teams, That is the main reason I escaped from the caring professions… Why is it that some of the staff in so-called ‘caring’ professions, seem to have a basic dislike of people? It just doesn’t make sense… But they are there, I’ve tried to work with them…

On a positive note…

This coming week… I intend to devote some time to just one of my hobbies… I already have the basic stuff, so can work with that… No one else has to like it, just me…

If anyone has ever said to you ‘Little things please little minds…’ It should not be applied to the love of small tangible items. The saying is meant to apply to people engaging in negative ‘small-talk’ about others, in a futile attempt to make themselves feel better.

I am looking at things like actual collections of models, be it trains, gramophone records, even stamp collecting. The pleasure is in owning a specific ‘dream’ item for yourself. Maybe something that has taken a lifetime to achieve.

It may not matter to anyone else, but just mean a lot to ourselves. It may be making cakes… Even as small as making a favourite sandwich or meal. creamy Coffee even. That is one of my favourite tasks. I do like gardening, but the coldness outside is putting me off at present.

I do find that, since retiring from work, I tend to feel sleepy a lot… Having said that, there was a time when I simply couldn’t sleep at all. I would lie awake in bed, dreading the following day. At work I felt like a scapegoat. Everyone blaming me… I wonder who they are all blaming now? And are the residents getting the care they need? I very much doubt it…

In the end, I had to save myself first… Will I ever return to a toxic environment like that? In word… No.

I cannot change others, only myself. Or my location, Or my way of thinking (Attitude)

Seek out the positive… Always dwell on the side of positive…  Share… Even if it is just a smile… A cheerful ‘Thankyou’ with a smile to the shop assistant. You never know, They may actually smile back… Glad that someone has actually bothered  to speak nicely to them today. And that smile back really lifts us too… Dramatically!

So… For this week then…

Try it… Buy something affordable in a shop, with the full intention of speaking to the assistant. Petrol stations are good for this too… Anywhere… Wander into a library… Smile at anyone who makes eye contact with you, smile… Odds on they will react with a smile… A smile can mean so much, yet costs so very little. It does take a lot of effort to get started though! The first smile… But then smiling becomes infectious (For want of a better word…), and we will do it more and more on the rebound. It really lifts our day…

We can even find ourselves saying “Hiya!” with a smile. Just that one word… “Hiya!” And then carrying  on with whatever we happen to be doing at the time. Dog-walkers seem to be really good at this… And wear your favourite hat, if you have one. A baseball cap forces us to look up straight, and thus stand up straight, psychologically and physically lifting our brainwaves.

Another idea… If you do writing… Try short stories… Trying to fit a Beginning, A middle, and an ending into 1500 words is nowhere near as easy as it initially sounds! The really good thing about writing stories, is that you can have characters to be friends with you, just how you would like them to be, and portray yourself in a nicer situation than is perhaps your reality… For instance… A bus/train ride to a favourite place… Perhaps the seaside…

Write stuff that you like to read… It can be very satisfying… Especially on a word-processor program or App. Print it… It is your work… Seeing it on paper gives it credibility and value. You can actually touch it. It is real…

Until next Friday then…  16/02/2024 at about 6pm, right here…

Let’s be good to ourselves, and others too. Cos that is what makes life worthwhile. And remember to smile!

Wannabe