Reply To: Wannabefree’s Friday night Blog…

[wannabefreeParticipantParticipant]

Okay… Acceptance. Does that mean giving in? No, not entirely. It is about finding a way to underline the situation, then calmly agree to move forward, in a good way, that we are ourselves are in full happiness with.

For instance… I may have arranged to go out shopping say, but the weather has turned stormy. My original plan was to not wear a coat. So… I can stay home… But then, there may be something in particular to go and look at, or even purchase. Accepting that situation would be, putting on a coat so I don’t get so wet, but wear, my best one, so I still feel good about myself. The situation had changed, but I’d accepted it, and found a compromise with it (Compromise in the noun, not the verb).  The ‘Serenity’ prayer takes this further… I need the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and then, the most important part; The wisdom to know the difference. Because, as yet, I haven’t found a way of preventing the rain!

If a big rock is in the way, calmly go around it metaphorically speaking. Find a common ground.

With a grubby house, we actually improve our natural defences… It has long been known that a child raised in clinically clean conditions at home, can find themselves coming down with every ailment under the sun, in later life.

If when going out shopping, I ponder momentarily on the unlikely, Bu, Feels very real, idea that I could have left the front door unlocked, or a light switched on. I can choose whether or not to worry about it all evening, worrying unceasingly at the cinema, for instance. Or, I can push the thought away, allow it to be there, accept it in fact, And leave it till I get home later. Any electric won’t cost much, and you almost certainly locked the door anyway, because you are always so thorough about such things.

Isn’t it weird when you get that situation where you lock the front door, walk to the gate, then just pop back to the door, and find that the urge to just check it, keeps getting stronger, rather than weaker each time we check..? That is a hallmark of OCD. The easiest and quickest solution is to just lock it, then walk away, without going back even once to check. And our watchful neighbours will see that we are okay too… The need to check actually diminishes on it’s own over a decreasing periods of time, and we are then free. The more we leave things alone, the easier it gets. And that truly is a blessing.

We are none of us wholly responsible for the safety of those around us. It would be impossible to achieve. If a person wants to trip on something that would be perfectly safe, if they simply looked where they were going, that is their issue, not yours. A court of law would expect people to look where they are going, to actually have some responsibility for their own safety.

For instance, driving the car over a steep drop because the sat-nav told them to, will not hold up in court.

So… Let’s step back a bit… Give back to other people the responsibility for their own safety, that they will then, hopefully, have the common sense to care for themselves. Small children can be vulnerable, yes, but it is the adults who try to sue each other. And sometimes us…

Litigation is big business for solicitors, regardless of who wins the argument… Sometimes it is just being spiteful and greedy, for the pursuit of more money, than what they have already, and can never be satisfied with.

And if a person gets a reputation for being vindictive, nasty, for suing people, where does it really get them? And we probably all know people like that… Bullies can get to become managers, cos they enjoy the power over other people it gives them…

So… Acceptance… It is not giving in, but creating a process by which a difficult circumstance can be resolved, to the ultimate benefit of all concerned. And that just has to be a good thing, Right?

Next week, The new idea of ‘Bontamination’, rather than Contamination. Is it a good idea?

Till next Friday  29/09/ 2023.

Have a steady week folks…

Wannabe.