Reply To: Bizarre moral OCD theme that terrifies me. Please help

[johna2Participant]

Hey, it’s good you do ERP and take some hopefully helpful meds.

You ask why this all happened to you. I used to ask that question. But the only response I got was that life is deterministic, and some of us are dealt a pretty shitty hand. But at least I quit blaming myself or taking blame for my condition. Mental illness is just what it is and we should, l think, quit beating ourselves up about it. Acceptance is the thing. And then doing what we can to improve our situation. Which you are doing.

Last year I hit rock bottom. I guess the only way was up. I started reading a ton of books and doing some gardening. Now I feel a lot better.

I know its hard, but try to adopt a position of “what the fuck”. Try not to take life that seriously. There is a whole bunch of stuff that I’m sure is not nearly so important as we can often make it out to be. I wish I could explain myself better, but its difficult.

You seem to be suffering from a fair bit of guilt. I know I was. But now I think I try to do my best. Screw it if I don’t succeed, and screw other people’s oppressive demands of me.

I really hope you get better. Be kind to yourself.