Hey everyone! I’m new to the forums and I wanted to share a little bit about dealing with RJ in my partner in the hopes that someone has some information and guidance on how to not be so triggered.
For those of you who don’t know, Retroactive Jealousy is an obsession with your partners past.
I’ve dealt with this in my partner for over a year and a half and some days are easier than others. However, lately I’m finding it so hard to remain calm and understanding and find myself lashing out or arguing with him because some of the things he does to help overcome his intrusive thoughts just really get my guard up.
He is on medication now and he said the tablets are helping dull down the thoughts which is great. But I find that if questions do come up I instantly get anxiety about it because I don’t know how his attitude will be or if he will be able to be calm about it. He’s also openly told me that when he gets these intrusive thoughts he can’t think of me in a positive light and as his partner it’s extremely upsetting to hear.
I want to be able to support him in the meantime without feeling like everything is a personal attack on me. I suppose a part of me gets defensive because I feel like if I don’t set boundaries he will think it’s okay to speak to me how he does in those moments and it’s so hard to get him to understand how I’m feeling in all this.
if anyone has been in the same situation I would love some tips on how to power on through
