Can anyone relate to avoidance with a partner

[broadhurst1Participant]

Hi, I wonder if anyone can help me please my current ex partner had expressed some concerns to me that he kept getting thoughts in his head that he can’t control. Previously he would get a thought in his head about something little, not always to do with the relationship and tell me he didn’t want to be with me but would always call me a couple of days layer. The first time it happened I was panicking and then over time I just gave him his space. The relationship in its self was great; we never argued, he’s just get something in his head and fall out with me over the phone. He told me at the time that when he’s in that mind set the best thing to do was give him his space as no matter what anyone did he couldn’t think differently. He is diagnosed with ocd and body dismorfia and on medication.Sertaline to be exact. Before the was diagnosed and in a bad place that resulted in him not being able to leave the house for a long time and then resulted with him being hospitalised. However he is also the kind of person who won’t speak to anyone about anything so I know previously refused cbt.

Anyway a few weeks ago I could tell something was going on as he was just not acting himself. I ended up in hospital and his reaction to this was to block me and say he couldn’t be in a relationship. He’s 30+ and due to current circumstances staying with his parent. I spoke to them who said he’s been horrible with them but are aware they don’t speak so refused to do anything. They said they’ve never even looked into his cbt and just said he has issues. He was saying things that were simply not true, and completely did a 180 on the person he normally is. so as I thought best to rely facts and said I’ll give him his space. We’ve barely had any contact and when we have it’s just been him avoiding anything, saying he’ll return my things on such a date but then actually not doing it. I know in his past he has had a lot of issues with his ocd and he explained that since he got on the meds he’s been so much better.

Tbh I forget half the time he even has it. But since this I’ve been trying to make sense of this behaviour so turned to trusted old chat gbt and a pharmacist friend who explained about the crisis’s. I just don’t know what I can do in this situation, if they ever subside and if anything I can do will help. I’m confused as to why he doesn’t want contact yet won’t return the things I’m contacting about, and just very confused in general as I know this isn’t him. I can’t speak with his parents as they have said they don’t speak to him and they have issues them selves and I know he also isolated himself from others.
Can anybody please advise of they have experienced anything similar before.

[Author]

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