Was lying in bed this morning when suddenly I heard a someone say help. Problem is I don't know whether I did or whether it was just in my head. I felt like i was awake at the time but not sure if I was half asleep. I fear I will develop psychosis and now this has happened I am trying very hard not to panic. Does this ever happen to anyone else? Do you think I should be worried? I am thinking it over and over trying to work out what happened but I don't know.
I thought I was doing well until a couple of days ago, now my checking compulsions have got worse and I feel so depressed. I wasn't coping with the stress of completing my masters degree so have asked to defer. This has made me feel like a massive failure which is making me feel even worse. I start CBT on Tuesday and am clinging on to the hope that I will feel better after that although I know realistically it's going to take more than 1 session. I just feel like I can't cope and I can't stop checking and thinking over and over again.
I suffered with Ocd throughout my childhood. Although never diagnosed I am fairly sure this is what I had. I used to wash my hands a certain way until I did it 'right'. I also went through a stage of being scared of sleep walking and killing someone In my sleep and would have to check my clothes for blood (irrational, I know).
You're not an idiot, I was told it actually takes an intelligent brain to have ocd - lucky us...not. i get the contamination thing, it's like you have to do the ritual to feel normal but you know in reality it's just ocd nonsense.
You need to see a psychologist who specialises in ocd. They are expensive to see but after the nhs was too slow for me I took the plunge and went private. I think my psychologist probably saved my life as before her I was spiralling down quickly.