Hi everyone. A couple of years ago i was watching porn and passed by a video where the thumbnail was child porn. My brain was saying "watch it" and telling me i like it. I was diagnosed with ocd so i just need to know if this is ocd or just me being disgusting.
I dont know how to deal with this anymore. The thoughts are horrible. Please red my other posts to fully understand. I was diagnosed with ocd this year after struggling my whole life sith various themes but this is the worst. I dont want to be a pedophile. Its the worst thing in the world to me. Its sick its disgusting and thats truly how i feel so why do i have to live with these thoughts? I feel like i deserve it cuz i was 18 attracted to girls around 13 to 20 so does that make me a pedophile? Idk anymore just cant live with this.
I feel the same way. I used to get intrusive thoughts about my baby cousin during masturbation but now my heads like "oh thats not an intrusive thought" even tho i know id never want to do anything like that. Its ocd tho it plays with your mind just know that everyone gets messed up thoughts.