I cant cope anymore. My ocd that I've had for years is back again. I'm terrified I've hurt someone and dont remember. Images keep coming into my mind of things I could of done. I love my family so much but feel so guilty this keeps happening. I'm getting lots of suicidal thoughts now because even if this passes it will come back again and again for the rest of my life. I'm absolutely done. Shattered . Defeated.
I have a question for others to see if you experience the same thing.
When you get an intrusive thought/image of doing something bad, if you persevere through the anxiety/doubt and uncertainty do you in the long term after the anxiety calms down are you able to look back and feel a sense of certainty and t gr en think wow that was silly.
So struggling again . Feeling exhausted with this illness. I have suffered with harm ocd for years and years. Various themes but last couple of years about harming someone in a sexual way. Have been ok for a couple of months but now have thoughts about what if I groped one of my daughters friends in the past. Keep searching my memory to make sure I haven't which I know I shouldn't but if I dont I feel guilty as if I dont care. Feel like a bad person for even having these thoughts.
Your post sounds the same as me. I am terrified of hurting children or old people . I also ruminate over the past and when I can't remember things exactly my anxiety skyrockets.
My husband told me once to remember a car accident I had when another person drove into me.
I think it sounds very much like OCD. Are you aware of how irrational your thoughts are?
Most people with OCD realise their thoughts are irrational even though they feel so real and scary.
It's the anxiety that is the problem.