If you read my last post I posted the other day, I had a flare up for what I did and wondering if I have finally crossed the line.
I spent a bit of today wondering if I crossed the line, to me it felt as such at the time. For those who didn't read the previous post. The other day I was playing a game and I heard a kid talking in the game, I thought nothing of the kid until a sexual thought came up, a thought of a porn video that I've seen. Not gonna go much into detail but I somehow associated the thought of the porn video to a kids voice.
I managed to calm myself down. But I still can't get over this one memory
In short I tried to do something horrible about 4-5 years ago back when I was a teen. I am in my early twenties right now. This memory popped up last year, and I think I misremembered the memory. However I can't seem to recall how long ago it happened... I don't know if this is a memory error or what not but I somewhat remember it as it happened a bit more recent... Like say 1-2 years ago
I now find myself spiralling down. I can't get over this one awful thing I did from the past. I find myself back to square one, immense guilt and ashamed
I've been trying to remember the details of a event that happened 3-4-5 years ago I can't even remember how long, if it was more recent or long since and it's been making me insane. I've remembered I tried to do a horrible thing, even if this didn't go through. The fact that I tried to do it brings me with immense guilt.