I've know I've had OCD for the best part of 24 years. My OCD consisted of basically checking. It would take me forever to leave the house, turn taps off, lights off, gas off etc.
I believe now I used to have intrusive thoughts but never really paid much attention to them and I've always been a worrier.
I can see where your coming from. I'm. Currently going through the same thing and my thought is so taboo it scares the living hell out of me. I'm always been open telling people about my though as I find I need to tell every detail.
I kind of going through the same sort of thing as you. Mine has been tormenting me for the past 8 months and I've got it into my head that I'm a bad person and that the police are coming for me.
If you have time take a read of my first post.
I am going through a very similar experience but just a different scenario. You have describe the feeling that I'm feeling and the constant rumination. Yesterday I explained my thought to my physiatrist and he said I have OCD.
I truly believe what your going through is OCD.