So lately my mind is calling to question whether any of the times ive been at war with my mind were ever real. Dont know how that started. Anyways heres a short story of something that happened with me about a year ago and ill let you decide if its ocd related since i havent been officially diagnosed.
Well its been quite a bit since ive posted. And since my last post that explains my new obsession, im still stuck with it to this day. In short ive been a drinker for quite a while, years actually. Anywho i know its bad but ive driven after drinking a few times and i started getting a flood of thoughts and i would rush out the morning after in my car to scan all the streets for any pedestrian i might have hit and left. Always finding nothing and stuck for a few days obssessing on whether i missed something.
Ok so I know im gonna get some blame for how this one intrusive thought started. I've had intrusive thoughts for 3 years now. Im not officially diagnosed but from reading others problems I feel like it's the same problem. I'll make this story short though and hopefully people can give me some suggestions. I've thought God is gonna destroy me and I had no hope, I thought I had brain cancer, colon cancer and other diseases and I get completely obsessed with them always checking, googling, researching, and crying over them.
I had an obsession begin with a night I drank too. And I feel I remember everything but my mind won't give me credit and keeps on with the "what if" on and on and on. It drives me insane. I can feel your mental pain. It is such a heavy burden to carry.