Why would I think this ?

[AnonymousParticipant]

Hey all,

Been having a few spikes recently and I mainly suffer with OCD. Will try and keep this as short as poss.

I have always been a little bit obsessed with America since a child. I’ve seen a lot of the states and just LOVE it! The culture, sports, music, and just general way of life in particular locations. I was at a concert a couple weeks ago and the following came to my mind…

There were a few guys there who were dressed very stereotypically American (jeans, cowboy hat and t shirt)  and I love that whole look on a man, as I’m very much into that Country way of life. I’m moving to Canada next year and the thought came to my head “I wonder if Canadian guys dress like American men” which is normal.

but then my thought process moved onto “I’ll check hashtags on Instagram to see if they dress the same.

i don’t know why I would think this, or think of searching for this because I’m attracted to men!! Why would I think to search to see if guys in Canada dress like this, instead of searching for other men?

I instantly felt dread after. I feel like it’s because I grew up wishing I lived in America and went to high school there, and in a way still think this way. I think it’s just because I like the stereotypical dress sense, not even in a bad way of 8course, but I just think it’s cool. So maybe that’s why I had the thought to see if Canadians dress like this?

I don’t know, it just confuses me as to why I would have this weird and random thought trail??? I feel like even though I’m 29, I’m at the age where I’m still clinging onto my younger years as an older teenage and the years of my early 20’s.

all this typed out sounds so weird, but it’s just the thought process in my mind typed out ?

 

Sorry it’s not as short as I liked. I hope someone can help with some feedback on this?

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