What to do when our OCD fears actually come true?

[Kranky_123Participant]

Hi, I am hoping someone can help with some OCD questions

So much of what I have read about talks about OCD fears being unfounded and that they don’t actually happen.

I have read <b>:Facing what you fear is a way of getting closer to the truth. You are no longer speculating about what might happen – you are finding out what really happens. Everyone with OCD has a theory about what will happen if they do or don’t do their chosen compulsions. I like to tell my patients that facing your fear is like being a scientist testing your theories to arrive at the truth. In the case of OCD, the truth people discover is that their theory is disproved, and the dreaded consequence never happens. Just telling them this, however, is not enough. People have to experience this for themselves for it to have a real impact.</b>

But what if our fears actually do happen?

I have an obsession of getting my orgasms to feel good

Because I get anxious about this – the fear stops them feeling good

My fear comes true.

So my theory is indeed proved.

Questions I have:

1) How do I manage this?

2) Am I meant to stop caring how good they feel?

3) Am I meant to learn to manage it not feeling good until I no longer fear it?

4) If so, how would this work if a serious/actual important fear came true?

5) For example, if someone feared harming their family – how would they be expected to stop caring about this or to learn to manage the fear if it had actually happened?

I feel like if I can understand how to manage a fear that actually happens, that I’ll be able to work through it.

I can tolerate the uncertainty of it happening in the future – I just don’t understand how to respond when it actually does happen.

[Kranky_123ParticipantParticipant]

Anyone?

[wannabefreeParticipant]

Hiya. Perhaps a way of looking at this is to consider the idea that, when and if it does happen, only then is it real enough to deal with. For instance,  we don’t  ddesperately need to drink anything until we are actually thirsty. In all other istances we would be trying to deal with pure speculation. A let’s save our strength until it is needed to deal with an actual occurrence? Am I  understanding correctly here.

Scientifically, an optimist would suggest that there is only a miniscule chance of our fears ever coming true. A risk assessor,  if you like.  A rock climber would slightly increase the level of risk.

Wearing a pair of really good walking boots can be said to significantly reduce the riak of a broken accident whils out fell walking…

Do you have a diary? One that shows up clearly each day of the week.  Each time somwthing awkward happens, tick it off on the appropriate  day. We don’t  need to describe it, just notice the actual numbers of negative occurrences. There may be a lot less of them than you or I realise…

Just an idea…

Wannabe

[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

Forum moderators here; we’re sorry you’re having a difficult time now – please don’t ever think you’re alone and remember that you can also contact the OCD Action Helpline to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential help, information and support for people with OCD (and anyone who thinks they may have OCD). Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand how it can impact your entire life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478 (this is a UK number).
• email: support@ocdaction.org.uk

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is always here to help and support you.

Best wishes,

Forum Moderators

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