Hi there I just wanted to share an observation I’ve made and a theory I’ve been pondering. I’d be interested to know if others agree.
Basically, like a lot of people my OCD started when I was a kid with checking door handles a lot and cleaning excessively.
That is all dealt with now but my fears changed over twenty years into fears of harming others and not trusting myself around others.
I’ve noticed many people have seen this progression and here’s what I’ve observed:
When you start out with checking OCD etc., you have a deep distrust of “the universe” – i.e. you don’t trust doors to be locked and things to be clean… so you place all your trust in yourself to continually ensure that all these things are okay.
Later when you have harm OCD the situation is reversed – you don’t trust yourself at all anymore and you’re much more trusting that doors will stay locked of their own accord!
So it seems for many people OCD develops from “trust in self” to “distrust in self”.
In my religion (Christianity) the whole point of your journey is to stop trusting in your own strength/aptitude/goodness and trust in God’s mercy instead like a small child.
Could the way our OCD develops be a sign of some positive inner change?
