So I’ve struggled with ocd my whole life but this is by far the worst because it’s about our almighty god, I got a thought one day that’s said “god if your real take my life” I hate even typing that and thank god he didn’t but then it started saying he wasn’t real because he didn’t, The moved towards others and it’s like ocd is wanting me to say it but I will never do that because I know god can do anything, Intrusive thoughts saying he’s scared which I know god is not scared of anyone, He’s just not a mean person and he isn’t going to take someone’s life because of a dumb thought, It’s caused me to feel depressed and like god is going to punish me, I know it has to be ocd and not me because I’ve always loved god and people and never been a bad person with thoughts like this, I’m thankful god isn’t listening to these crazy thoughts I pray to him not to listen to these thoughts, But ocd is messing with me so bad I feel evil and I hate it no one should have thoughts about them like this, Makes me feel like I’m using gods blessings, I want the old happy loving person back, And another reason I know it’s ocd is because even though thankfully he don’t listen to these thoughts I still believe in him, It’s ocd and I don’t know how to get past it and it feels like I’m thinking of these thoughts on my own, I’m scared god is going to get mad at me cause these want stop and when I ain’t thinking of them and think hey I ain’t thinking of that here it comes agian with the do I want to think of that? And it feels like I don’t care anymore I hope it’s just where I’m tired of thinking so much! then I get thoughts that I don’t want to go to heaven when I 100% do, I hate this! If I ignore the thought it makes me feels like I’m starting to believe the thoughts and feel evil so I have to replace it with good thought but then it feels like I don’t care anymore like am I just exhausted from these thoughts!!
