New Mum

[ButtonsParticipant]

Hi,

I am new to this group. I have a 12 month old and was wondering if anyone else is in or has been in a similar position with having OCD and trying to look after a baby/toddler? I’ve suffered with OCD since I was a child but never sought help until I was about 30. I’ve had a few lots of CBT which calms it down for a bit and currently having therapy again which is helping. Just seeking others in similar situations so I know I’m not alone in this! I’m very worried my child will pick up on my OCD when they are older too and will have it too. Thank you in advance for any replies x

[wannabefreeParticipant]

Hi there, and Welcome.

To be honest, I’m actually a Great Grandparent, but still see how children are amazing. They don’t worry about crawling on the floor or ground, cos their natural defences are building, they are exploring the world from the angle of not actually worrying, or being anxious about things.  I honestly do believe that having children is the most stressful, but then, the most rewarding job ever. We get to experience life in all its’ fullness, we find ourselves actually learning from the children too, they start talking, and amaze us by the way they see everything.

I hope there will be others sharing on here. It has been very quiet for several months now. I read a lot of things on the forum, it is a great way to see that we are not alone in this, there are millions of us all around the world, but actually talking about things like this for me, being a fella, some see it as a weakness, but no, it is an amazing learning curve.

Maybe one day you’ll write a book, or film. Our kids love us, they may not say it out loud, being ‘cool’, if that is how they say it these days, but with children around, life is magical.

I’m visiting some of mine tomorrow, and it will be ace!

Wannabe

[avocadosontoastParticipant]

Hi there,

If your child does have OCD (and let’s remember that there is a good chance they will not), they will be incredibly cared for and well-supported. Knowing that they have a mum who understands will mean that they can talk to you if they are having trouble with obsessions and compulsions rather than trying to hide it.

I have OCD and my mum does not. I know she loves me with all her heart and that I have her unconditional support (and at the end of the day that is all that matters), but she will never understand my OCD the way that someone with first-hand experience would. There are many intrusive thoughts that I will never be able to tell her about because she won’t understand.

I watched an interview with Mayim Bailik (a mother who has OCD) where she talked about having this concern. I have had a dig around to try and find it again but it is lost on the internet somewhere. The part that stuck out to me was when she said that she talked to her children about “mummy’s compulsions” so that they understood that the behaviour was specific to her and did not mimic it. I can’t remember exactly how she explained it, but maybe just having a think about how you will explain to your child what is happening might ease some of your worry now?

I am really glad to hear that therapy is helping, make sure that you keep going (as long as it helps you) because it is so important to make sure you are looking after yourself!

You are a good mum! You are doing a great job!

I hope this helps 🙂

[ButtonsParticipantParticipant]

Hi Wannabefree,

Thank you for the reply. You are right, children are amazing! I wish I could remember a time when I didn’t worry about contamination like they do! There is so much for them to learn it’s brilliant. That’s lovely that you are a great-grandparent. I hope you have loads of fun together with your great-grand children! I hope you had a lovely time when you visited your children.

Definietly not a weakness at all as a man talking about things. It’s vital for everyone to get support for these type of things. It is good to know that we are not alone in this. I hope you have found the forums useful. It was very kind of you to take the time to reply.

Haha I need to make the most of mine being little before they get embarrassed of me!

Best wishes,

Zoe

 

 

 

 

[ButtonsParticipantParticipant]

Hi Avocadosontoast,

Thank you for your kind reply. I know what you mean about somebody without the condition not fully understanding it.  It’s so hard to explain!

Thank you for mentioning that interview. I will have a look for it. That’s a good point about thinking of a way to explain it when they are older. I’m hoping I can mask it enough so they won’t notice but it would be good to have a back up as I’m sure something will happen!

Thank you for your kind words :-). It’s hard not to keep doubting yourself as a new mum even without OCD to contend with!

Hope you are doing ok yourself.

Best wishes,

Zoe

 

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