I’m Very Worried And Panicked

[Anon35Participant]

I don’t know if this is the right thread, but someone needs to hear this, as I’m feeling utterly helpless.

I have identified as a straight male all my life, I still find women extremely attractive and I often find myself infatuated with some women, so romantically I am absolutely digging women.  However I have always had otherv thoughts since I was young, and now and again, I will watch something that brings utter shame to me because it MUST mean I am gay, it must be labeled.  With that comes intense thinking and fear that I will be ‘found out as it were ‘ and lose my wife, my kids and everything.

I believe and have thought about it time and time again, I don’t have any strong feelings romantically for them, however I think it’s perfectly fine to find the behaviour of men in general (consenting adults of course) interesting, that’s as far as it goes.  I’ve always said to my wife I am straight but open minded, that it can be just that, but I adore women too much to ever want to consider anything else.  My feelings to women are too strong for me.to even remotely think I am something else.

I don’t know if it’s the taboo aspect, or I actually in the closet or something, it’s terrifying me.  It’s nothing new that’s for sure, but now and again and yes I do feel shame in that, but also know even when I don’t feel shame my orientation doesn’t really change.

I think I have a thing for it but not actual men, as I do also enjoy trans entertainment, they are gorgeous women, so I’m either totally progressive or I’m some sort of repressed man, even though I have been honest with myself and thought about if I could be with a man and romantically not possibly, which isn’t that bad, but if I had the choice id always want the women.

I apologize if this is too descriptive but it’s OCD because it’s giving me intense anxiety and I can’t control the catastrophe

[johna2Participant]

You can have an aesthetic appreciation of the male body without being gay.

[Forum Moderators]

Hi:

We’re sorry you haven’t had many replies to yet and we want you to know that OCD Action offers other types of support for you.

You can contact the OCD Action Helpline and Email Service to talk to or email someone who understands OCD.

Our Helpline volunteers provide confidential information and support for people with OCD. Most volunteers have personal experience of OCD; all understand how it can impact your life. Contact our Helpline by:

• phone: 0300 636 5478
• email: support@ocdaction.orguk

Support groups for people with OCD offer a safe place where you can talk openly about OCD and support other people. Read information about UK-based groups here:

• Local independent support groups: https://ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/local-support/
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If you don’t live in the UK, look for groups near you on the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website. Under “Find Help”, choose “Listing Types”, then “Support Groups”: https://iocdf.org/

And please remember that you’re never alone – OCD Action is here to support you.

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