Hi guys need some help,
so I’ve struggled with harm OCD for 3 years and majorly recovered for the past year and a half, but recently I’ve gone down a real spiral, I’ve been struggling with not feel remorse, its a big theme arlund my Harm OCD as if I feel guilt and remorseful or not in situations cause that means I’m not a psycho etc. but for the past year I haven’t felt a strong feeling or remorse after I’ve e.g said soemthing bad, at times I’ve felt slightly guilty but never fully and it’s sent me down a spiral, I understand I have never really stopped checking my emotions in situations where I was required to feel bad about something I’ve done. But even at times where I don’t think about it I don’t feel bad or guilty, I don’t know how to explain it I try to feel remorseful or a situation where my brain goes that was bad I shouldn’t have done that it’s like an automatic response to analyse how I’m feeling and If I am feeling remore etc.
Just for history I was a very remorseful person like when I go fishing I always felt bad cause I felt like I was hurting the fish ? like I can still feel empathy, like I constantly worry about family and friends and when I think of them being sad or down I want to help, like I love hanging around people as people in a good mood makes me feel good and if I see someone cry I get a little teary, but it’s feeling bad about something I’ve done why can’t I feel the one emotion I want. Or feeling bad about them being sad losing a loved one and being sad, Have I lost it? Can I make it come back? Or am I a crazy person cause that my biggest fear. Cause I enjoy feeling remorse it lets me know I’m a good person and makes me feel good because then I help people and feel amazing and I want that feeling, I want to feel for people when there sad and there not feeling good. It’s just the past two years I feel like I’ve lost it, I feel it there like it wants to come out but I can’t make it, has anyone experienced this? How do I recover from it?
