Hi, Am I right thinking my OCD self is absolutely not the person I am now? My OCD started nearly 11 years ago. It just brings up strong feelings of shame, guilt and remorse. I went through trauma and I am wanting to get therapy for my OCD/trauma in the hope of becoming a better person with a better understanding of myself.
I think my OCD is attaching a lot of importance to this due to the feeling of having to be ‘perfect’ and the fear of rejection. I had a thought earlier that maybe if I had not developed OCD that I would have left my thoughts in the past where they belong. I am sure that’s how others would have perhaps dealt with OCD.
I don’t think anyone would want to know all their past intrusive thoughts, I certainly wouldn’t, but then again I should not blame myself for my past, especially as it produces feelings of guilt and remorse. I am a good person, I know my fantasies would be morally repugnant to most people, as they are to me too. I just want to be as good a person as I can be and feel like OCD is a black cloud over that. I will definitley be seeking out therapy to try and overcome my OCD.
