I’ve posted several time to this site with questions usually given answers at this point i dont know why I keep coming here but it’s like I don’t know what else to do. I went through several boughts of intrusive thoughts early on, but as I learned more about ocd and harm ocd it started to stop, but as time went on things got worse It felt like I was pushing at something I had already gotten past. My rumination and internal arguing would swap topics all the time from whether or not I had the desire to [comment: edited by moderators] amongst many other questions I would ask myself like would I have hurt my mother and things Like that. As the arguements go on I always said no but in the back of my head there was a voice saying opposite like there is some doubt why is it there when it was never there before. The worst was today where I was working I was checking someone out at the register and the thought [comment: edited by moderators] I felt for the first time in weeks and Im like did I just think that. A few minutes later I was telling my coworkers a joke I and felt ashamed. I didn’t feel any distress like before so whats going on. I tried getting help from a therapist but he’s more concerned with treating other things. At this point it feels like I don’t care whether I get better or not I don’t know anymore. I’m just trying to get some perspective her I think.
