Reply To: I am a not a good man

[Anon35ParticipantParticipant]

I feel like she’s been pretty good but I am hurt too, because Its not one women I work with, it’s women in general, or people I find attractive, that’s it.  I was having a hard time with guilt myself and that’s why it was in my book.  She says it was that kind of story cause it had words and I said it was two sentences of what I was thinking and that’s the way that thought goes.  If you look through my journal you will find a section where I have had thoughts about men and written down the same things because If I write it down It sometimes just helps me get it out my head.  I said so in trying to be a better person I end up being a worse one.  She said it’s the fact I wrote it and left it open and not the thoughts.  I said I was drunk I didn’t even know I’d left the page open.  Am I being unfair or hard on myself?  Am I being hard on her?  I just don’t know.  She has said she has talked enough about it and now wants to just let time move on so she will get over it.

She even said last night she thinks this is better for us to be more open and that it will be good in the long run.  I just can’t carry this guilt, I’m generally not capable of it