ROCD. Need help please

26 March 2020 - 12:57

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I feel I have experienced just about every theme!

Right now I am worried about ROCD.

So, my pocd was strong 10 years ago so obviously this led to me not really wanting to sexually engage with my husband. I remember just laying in bed a lot years ago even when I was with him, just depressed. My OCD now is trying to tell me it's because I wasn't happy with him, I wasn't sexually attracted.


Then also I have always got bad, mean thoughts about some people's appearance, usually those close to me. So, the fact I get it about him is telling me that I don't find him attractive. I do, but I wish OCD would leave me alone about that one thing.


Also, he shaved the other day and I got mad. I love his facial hair. So my OCD was like well if you don't like him without facial hair, that is actually what he looks like, you must not really love him or find his real self attractive.


When I was younger, I would always hear about weight and exercise, etc. I'm not skinny. I'm trying to lose weight. But I feel like that stuff has maybe found its way into my marriage. I will tell him things like "are you really eating again" or stuff like that. I do have a huge heart so I am not trying to be mean because when I typed that I realized how awful that sounds.


I read somewhere we could have that BDD (body image thing) about ourself but we could also have reverse BDD about someone else.


I just feel like I don't deserve him. What if my OCD was right and sometimes I didn't want to hug, kiss, or do sexual stuff with him because of the attractive thing? Don't couples find each other attractive all the time?


Also, I remember when sometimes I knew we were going to actually do that when the kids went to bed, I would read some x-rated stories, but I am pretty sure I read them and thought of us when I was reading it, at least I hope so. I feel like since I read it first, that meant I am not attracted and I had to read the story to want to do it.



AHHH I wish I could escape my mind.

Should I tell him about all this rocd stuff? Or is that just OCD making me feel like I have to?

Please help.

26 March 2020 - 15:48

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I should add I love my husband. We are very close. I consider him to be like a best friend plus husband. I can't imagine my life with anyone else. If I'm stressed and hug him, my worries about any topic. Sometimes I feel blah until he comes home from work due to random things to be stressed about, then when he comes home it's not so bad.

26 March 2020 - 16:27

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Hello again Flora, I replied to another post of yours just earlier today... Aw, I am sorry that you do seem to be having a rough time of it right now dont you..? Reading your post I think this is all basically catastrophising about pretty much everything really.  It happens to me all the time, ocd makes you question, anylise, and doubt everything. Your hubby shaved his beard/facial hair off...  you weren't that keen on it.. that doesn't mean you dont find him attractive, it just means he looks different, and okay maybe you do like him better with his facial hair but that doesn't mean you think he is ugly to you without it, it just means you have a preference which is fine..! When I was a little kid, my dad who always has and still does have a beard, shaved it off, me and my older sister burst into tears and cried 'we want our dad back'. Its clear reading your post that you love your husband very much, and that trumps everything, and I mean everything. I'm in my forties and now divorced, I was sixteen when I met my ex wife, and was forty three when she decided to leave me....  I loved her very very much, just as you love your husband... but even with loving your partner which you clearly do, I refer to your question 'Dont couples find each other attractive all the time...?'    The simple and honest answer to that is NO, not all the time... and there is nothing wrong or abnormal about that, simply human nature. Try not to worry or read too much into it..!

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