food related ocd?

11 December 2018 - 23:27

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first time using this website!

last year was my first year in university and i remember not cooking and eating food in the halls because i didn't like the feeling of it. i felt like the place was all dirty which i'm sure it wasn't. not in my room, not in the kitchen. it just felt 'dusty'. and i wouldn't eat from the cups and plates from back home or even new cutlery regardless of how many times i washed them. i even tried to change the actual cup and still no luck. i remember thinking it was all 'dusty'. i would get paper plates/cups instead or put a paper towel on the plate. i didn't want to cook because i didn't want to eat the food that was made in that flat, and i didn't want to eat the food that was stored there. i really dont know why i tried to tell myself you would make it at home, same recipe, same ingredients. but it didn't help i literally would feel sick and spit it back out. i didn't have this problem with eating in other flats or houses? i ate out most of the time because of this.

my mum made me take food back to uni from home, the same food i had eaten at home. when i would open it in my room i felt sick and disgusted could not even bring myself to eat it. i remember i had fasted for the whole day was literally starving and still felt so disgusted by the food from home in my room. i would happily eat the same meal at home. it just felt different in the halls.

is this grossed out feeling related to ocd? i don't know if its perfectionism or related to cleanliness but i should not be feeling nausea for normal foods? once i had made a dish with my friend and i tasted it. i hated the texture so much i wanted to throw up. is this a normal reaction?

6 November 2019 - 22:56

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Hi masx,

From what you're describing, it looks like OCD. I would say that with OCD, these types of reactions are "normal". My advice would be the following: try to separate your OCD from the food. You have already identified that this is OCD, which is certainly a step in the right direction. I think what you could try now is constantly reasoning with yourself that this reaction you are getting is fake. Repetition often helps, so maybe try saying and/or writing this a few times in the morning, then a few times during the day and the evening. I can definitely relate to the washing cutlery issue you wrote about. With these things, a good way is to just stop re-washing and actually try eating with the cutlery. It will feel very counter-intuitive, but once you stop this so-called "ritual", you will realize that this is just all in your head. However, it looks like your OCD is causing quite a strong physical reaction, so maybe your best solution, would be to see a therapist. Hope this helped. Best of luck to you!  

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