11 December 2018 - 23:27
first time using this website!
last year was my first year in university and i remember not cooking and eating food in the halls because i didn't like the feeling of it. i felt like the place was all dirty which i'm sure it wasn't. not in my room, not in the kitchen. it just felt 'dusty'. and i wouldn't eat from the cups and plates from back home or even new cutlery regardless of how many times i washed them. i even tried to change the actual cup and still no luck. i remember thinking it was all 'dusty'. i would get paper plates/cups instead or put a paper towel on the plate. i didn't want to cook because i didn't want to eat the food that was made in that flat, and i didn't want to eat the food that was stored there. i really dont know why i tried to tell myself you would make it at home, same recipe, same ingredients. but it didn't help i literally would feel sick and spit it back out. i didn't have this problem with eating in other flats or houses? i ate out most of the time because of this.
my mum made me take food back to uni from home, the same food i had eaten at home. when i would open it in my room i felt sick and disgusted could not even bring myself to eat it. i remember i had fasted for the whole day was literally starving and still felt so disgusted by the food from home in my room. i would happily eat the same meal at home. it just felt different in the halls.
is this grossed out feeling related to ocd? i don't know if its perfectionism or related to cleanliness but i should not be feeling nausea for normal foods? once i had made a dish with my friend and i tasted it. i hated the texture so much i wanted to throw up. is this a normal reaction?