POCD (again)

27 March 2020 - 20:14

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Hello. I've done this before, and asked for help before. I know it ultimately just worsens the anxiety cycle in the long run to ask for reassurance, and I will keep it short. There is one thing that I believe would make my problem go away if I could just set it straight. (My therapist thinks the opposite; she thinks that no one thing can fix it and that the only solution is to lean in to the uncertainty blah blah blah) But I need help. The one thing that I believe causes my problem to persist is that these rumination periods did not start with a weird random thought; they started with a feeling. A feeling that I believe to be attraction. Yes, I felt panic and shame and anxiety and did not want to feel that feeling, but I felt it nonetheless. My little cousin was in shorts and I looked at her soft legs and I wanted her. And then this hell started. There are times when I think I am getting over it, and then there are times when I feel like this whole illusion is crumbling. I don't even know what help I am looking for anymore. 

27 March 2020 - 20:42

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"There are times when I think I am getting over it, and then there are times when I feel like this whole illusion is crumbling"
I really felt that in so many ways... I'm going through the same things.
But, when you go through these moments, remember that they are just moments and although you feel everything collapsing on you, in reality it is not so, since in the end there are always those moments in which you feel better. I know it's really hard, sometimes I also feel everything collapsing on me, but when I remember this it helps me a little. Good luck

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