27 March 2020 - 23:36
Okay so I started with POCD and when my youngest was born I would try to avoid getting sexual thoughts of him during sexual time with my husband.
Well I also get other bad or mean thoughts of people with my ocd then feel guilty and get stuck on them. So this is where the next thing comes in.
My partner hates his chest area and that was one of my ocd things like getting thoughts and trying to get it out of my head. Because I don't care, but my ocd did.
One time when we were *doing it* I got a sexual thought of his chest area on purpose the whole time we were doing it so I wouldn't get a thought about my son.
I don't know why but this was 8-9 years ago and it bothered me off and on for years but this time I can't let it go.
Like no normal person would have sexual thoughts of doing sexual things with their husband's chest area.
I know I only did it because I didn't want a thought of my son and of course that is better than what could have happened if I changed it.
I just feel like my marriage is doomed because of this.
Someone talk some rational stuff into me.
I'm so stuck on this. I've been sick to my stomach all day.