Please help. Can't get over this

27 March 2020 - 23:36

Profile Image
Forum User
Join date: Jan 2020
Thanks: 1

Okay so I started with POCD and when my youngest was born I would try to avoid getting sexual thoughts of him during sexual time with my husband.

Well I also get other bad or mean thoughts of people with my ocd then feel guilty and get stuck on them. So this is where the next thing comes in.

My partner hates his chest area and that was one of my ocd things like getting thoughts and trying to get it out of my head. Because I don't care, but my ocd did.

One time when we were *doing it* I got a sexual thought of his chest area on purpose the whole time we were doing it so I wouldn't get a thought about my son.

I don't know why but this was 8-9 years ago and it bothered me off and on for years but this time I can't let it go.

Like no normal person would have sexual thoughts of doing sexual things with their husband's chest area.

I know I only did it because I didn't want a thought of my son and of course that is better than what could have happened if I changed it.

I just feel like my marriage is doomed because of this.

Someone talk some rational stuff into me.

I'm so stuck on this. I've been sick to my stomach all day.

28 March 2020 - 3:25

Forum User
Location: New York City
Join date: Nov 2017
Thanks: 109

First things first, you have to let the thoughts go. This goes for all types of thoughts including memories. By letting them go I mean allowing them to be there. Allowing them to come into your head and out of your head, to float by and pass through instead of getting stuck. When you stop and give thoughts importance they become stuck.Your brain says hey, this must mean something to you. And so it brings it back up to you and the more you fight it and try to control it the more they come back faster and stronger. When it comes to thoughts like, “apple”, “blanket”, and “button” they don’t stick because the words have no importance, same with certain images. And so they go through your head and never get stuck because you aren’t reacting to them and so your brain doesn’t bring them back up to again.

Allow the thoughts (whatever they are) to be there as you do everyday tasks, and if anxiety comes up allow your self to feel it and let it pass. Work with the feelings. Put your attention on the things you care about in life. Redirect your attention to things that matter. Practice healthy distraction and mindfulness. Ask yourself, what would you rather be doing then obsessing about that time that thing happened with your husbands chest? And then do that. Over time the thoughts and feelings should diminish.

Hope that helps.

BEST!

Reply to this topic