What are your opinions? Are these also Intrusive Thoughts?

12 June 2019 - 18:57

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Hey all,

Thank you for your time.

I wanted to ask your opinions, since I know you guys will know better than most, or at least have a better understanding.

I suffer from what I label as intrusive thoughts, since essentially that's what they are, but they don't fit into the three defined common categories and they're related to trauma the happened WAY in the past.

Anyway, I digress. Basically I have been with my girlfriend for 10 + years and she's wonderful. Funny, beautiful and very sweet. I will admit that there will be a ring for later this year.

I recently returned from a trip abroad with my family, then soon took my girlfriend on a trip that involved a long arduous drive. On the day we returned we sat with her family having a nice time (even if I was a little tired) and suddenly a thought hit me from nowhere (paraphrasing) "you're laugh is annoying" or "you're not likeable".

I was so taken aback that I even thought this. I love this girl, so where did that even come from?! Because of these kind of thoughts, I started to have an anxiety attack that I attempted to conceal from those around me. I felt sick to my stomach, sweating and even moderately shaking. I'm sure you know anxiety, so I won't detail it further. But the idea of these thoughts still churns my stomach. Whenever I see her I feel guilty, I feel anxious that I'll think something like that again. It's a vicious circle of course, the more you try to avoid these things they seemingly get worse.

Is this even something related to OCD or Intrusive Thoughts? Usually such thoughts are images, not this. I have been looking up online what it could be, even considering whether it's voices in my head, afterall I don't know what that would even be like. I feel dreadful about it, I want to propose to her but she deserves better surely.

Really confused and ashamed. My other intrusive thoughts are not like this, nor related to anyone.

Love to hear from you.

13 June 2019 - 18:54

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Would appreciate any opinions?

18 June 2019 - 19:44

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If you’re analysing the situation to this extent,in my opinion I’d say it is an intrusive thought. 

Hope you feel better about this soon

18 June 2019 - 22:06

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I think what you have is OCD.
That's my diagnosis.
I am a really loving, caring person, especially for the weak and vulnerable.
I met this guy once, who was really nice, interesting, kind, I liked him a lot. But he seemed kinda feeble, you know like people with asthma sometimes are? I suddenly thought "cripple!" It came out of nowhere. I was horrified at myself.
But I'm sure it's OCD because it doesn't reflect my real feelings of fondness and gratitude towards this person.
Sounds very similar to what you went through. Try and let go of the thoughts/feelings.

18 June 2019 - 22:15

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At my point, I would rather be bothered by these kind of thoughts. But then these train of thoughts might just be the opposite of how you feel. Or even if you notice certain things you genuinely don’t like, it doesn’t mean the worst. Actually it is in a way solidifying your love for them. 

It might start to feel wrong like

 “I shouldn’t be with someone if I secretly think these things...” But the quirks and flaws in anyone are inevitable and not easy/not necessary to ignore. Rather you accept them and yourself for thinking these. I doubt the best relationships were free of occasional annoyances and even thinking the other looked awful—but then go back to thinking—this is my love. There are stories online that might make people cringe—but all sorts of stuff like—how to tell their partner they smell bad, that they sometimes hurt their feelings, etc.

It’s just all part of being close and becoming best friends. 

 

 

 

 

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