Virtually dying of Pocd

9 August 2019 - 2:24

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Join date: Jun 2019
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Hi 

I’m begging you can someone please please please reply this time. 

So I was at the beach, it was late it was dark, I was with just my younger brother and there were only a few people around. We had just gone for a short swim and then as we came from the water to begin drying up and redressing, I noticed a group of 3 girls a bit in front of us, all wearing bikinis. From the distance between us, they all looked at least my age, probably older. I was checking this one girl out- the main reason I had picked on her was that she seemed to be looking at me a lot, and so the excitement this gave me made me eager to just give her the eye back.

After no more than about 2 minutes, the girls got dressed and ready to leave, and then walked our way towards the exit of the beach, and to my disappointment I realised that whilst the other 2 were indeed adults, this girl just happened to be some years younger than me (I’m 18 btw). She was a minor. She was too young. And yet even after I had realised this, I still looked back at her to see if she was looking at me!!! Like I still wanted to know if she was looking at me, there was still a slight bit of interest there. I don’t know why the fuck I was still curious to see if she was looking at me, because I’m not attracted to younger girls, like I said it was nothing other than disappointing to find out that she wasn’t in fact a woman, but a girl.  Dyou think maybe therewas still a kind of hangover in my brain from how I’d originally perceived her (which as I say was of an age appropriate girl)? Like maybe my brain just hadn’t fully processed the fact that she was not age appropriate... I don’t know, I feel totally sick and guilty about this and I know what I just wrote might seem kind of like I’m lead people into giving me the answer I want to hear, which I actually don’t want to do, please just give me an honest answer. I just don’t see why I didn’t stop caring once I saw that she was basically a child...

Anyway thanks, please please please reply, I’ve not been so lucky with getting replies so far on here lol. Thank you very much. X

9 August 2019 - 3:20

Forum User
Location: USA
Join date: Nov 2018
Thanks: 6

Hello,

I have had his happen to me before. Literally like last week. I have watched movies and get so anxious because I have to make sure the actors at the very least are 18 and over so I can give myself the go to find them attractive as an adult. It is quite normal to find prettiness an beauty in humans of any age. I feel like you did a double take because perhaps you wanted her to be older to be able to justify finding her beautiful. I get this allot where i see a young boy or guy and notice his handsomeness or see a cute girl and notice her beauty and automatically I get all anxious and start to spike. My fiancé who is super supportive tells me that even he can notice beauty in a young girl and say to himself when she gets older she’s gonna be so pretty and vice versa with a young boy. I am 31 your old female btw. Message me if you would like. 

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