14 June 2019 - 20:58
I have had a much better day today, and I have been doing all my homework and writing down every thought or obsession I have had in my diary.
however, something has really got under my skin tonight. When I was having sex with my girlfriend earlier I got a thought that I would enjoy it more if I was with a guy, although I was having so much fun. This made me worry and After I finished I was kissing and cuddling her and purposely checking in my mind if I would prefer if I was doing this with a guy. I didn’t feel any arousal only intense anxiety in my stomach but I can’t keep the doubt out of my mind.
I now feel so guilty for doing this. Why was I purposely checking when I should just be enjoying time with my girlfriend? This had made me so anxious now!!! I couldn’t find any similar stories on the forum. Any thoughts?