Thinking I did something!!!

29 February 2020 - 3:28

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Hi 

I want to make this really quick. Basically  I was masturbating, looking at pictures of porn on my phone, this one image came up and I cannot for the life of me make sense of this but it really felt like I thought it might’ve been child porn but I still clicked it on to masturbate to it. I feel like maybe I just knew it wasn’t child porn and it was just the ocd that planted that thought in my head which I just kind of disregarded? I don’t know though I feel really scared like what if I genuinely didn’t care?? I know I would never want to watch child porn so why would I click on it if I thought it was possible that that’s what it was?? I’m sure I wouldn’t do that but I feel really scared. Anyway thank you to whoever reads this and replies, but please do reply I really need answers I feel so horrible about this. 

 

29 February 2020 - 16:32

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Hi, thanks for your reply? Wait so are you saying that it can’t be true if I’m questioning it? The thing is I’m pretty certain had a thought that it could’ve been dodgy porn, which must’ve been ocd because it didn’t look like that, and I’m thinking maybe my logical brain knew it wasn’t dodgy and just didn’t pay attention to it and carried on anyway? But  that’s giving me little consolation because I still feel like if I had a thought that it could’ve been cp, whether it was an ocd thought or not, I really should’ve double checked it before carrying on. I just feel so confused and scared because I would never ever want to look at cp, yet in this instance it felt like I just didn’t care! I can’t forget it I just can’t, it’s so sickening if this is true. Anyway thank you so much for your reply, I appreciate that a lot. 

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