Therapist

28 January 2020 - 20:56

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What do you guys think outsiders or real LGBT people think of us "straight" people who are worried we are gay and obesse every sec of the day. Im embarrassed and ashamed that I have to go through this dumb obession. Ive become ashamed and feel dread telling people that I have a fear of turning gay. I hope one day I look back and realize how stupid and time wasting this period of my life was. I still "believe" I'm attracted to men but not happy about it.

29 January 2020 - 0:22

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For one, real LGBT people have already been responding to your posts and others with obsessions surrounding their sexuality (HOCD), such as myself. I think every fear is legitimate to every person doesn't matter what the fear is about.

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29 January 2020 - 1:11

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Justnat
Thanks for your help and support on the other post. I read some of your advise very informative.

I have a question and not sure why but I lost ALL my friends and avoided all men because I legitimately think I have attractions towards men.

Ive accepted this, but I can't make new GUY friends and I'm ashamed because I have to rebuild my new identity. I've accepted this is probably the new me. I'm I just ashamed embarrassed? Should I come out publicly what do you think

29 January 2020 - 1:18

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Should I be ashamed or feel guilty for thinking like this? This means in fact I started getting attractions to men later in life around 18-19yr old. Why I'm I hiding then from going out and living life

29 January 2020 - 1:39

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Honestly feeling ashamed and guilty is all apart of it. Ask anyone else if they feel ashamed and guilty about their fears, and they'll tell you the same. It's a fear that has paralyzed you, it's an irrational one, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel very real to you. If it didn't, it wouldn't have taken so of your time. 

Good question, but turn that question into what are some small steps I can do now to go out and start living life?

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29 January 2020 - 1:56

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Honestly feeling ashamed and guilty is all apart of it. Ask anyone else if they feel ashamed and guilty about their fears, and they'll tell you the same. It's a fear that has paralyzed you, it's an irrational one, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel very real to you. If it didn't, it wouldn't have taken so of your time. 

You lost your friends because you were suffering and sometimes when we are suffering we forget everyone around us, and also OCD was beginning to take over the things you enjoy and the people you liked to be around. I heard this quote from the tv show "Life below Zero" about fear. It goes, "Fear needs as much turf as it can get, if you let fear take over your life then you better have a good pair of running shoes because you're going to be running for the rest of your life."

One thing I did in the beginning of my journey with OCD years ago was, I never let it take the things I enjoy and love. When I was dealing with "Harm OCD" I did the exact opposite and spent more time around others and my family. I did that from the beginning to let my OCD know that I was in charge of my life.

So going back to your question, Why I'm I hiding then from going out and living life?

Change it to what are some small steps I can do now to go out and start living life?

BEST!

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