18 April 2019 - 22:18
I've been having a really good week where I've been out in public being aroused by my boyfriend and I've purposely tried to be aroused to my "pocd" type and I noticed it wasn't working which made me really happy as it means my possible pocd is finally going away and my attraction to guys my age is coming back stronger.
But then at night when we decide to have sex, well literally being doing foreplay and when he holds me I can just imagine a kid holding me and I get annoyed and instantly freak out so we stop. We rest for a bit and try again and instantly it's the same thing so I stop and I get scared. We've decided to not do it that night.
So we tried again the next day (Last night) and once again the exact same thing. Im really angry and upset as i can't enjoy fantasies or sex without an image of my boyfriend as a child constantly coming into my head. I hate it.
Is there any tips on how to stop these thoughts, it's really making me depressed as I keep thinking I'm getting better and then bam.
Sorry for the personal details