ROCD

30 November 2014 - 16:31

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Join date: Nov 2014
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Hi there.

I've never posted on a forum before but have been to this website and others like it many times seeking relief. However, recently I've been severely suffering from guilt over something that happened a week ago, something that I've talked to both my mom and my therapist about and they say I shouldn't feel bad about.

A week ago, I was out at a bar with friends--one of whom is my girlfriend's friend who I have a little crush on-- and everybody took off and it just ended up being me and this girl I had a little crush on. I didn't make a move or do anything even close to flirting, but I still feel ridiculously guilty because I put allowed myself to be in a situation where it was just her and me, talking and drinking. I was a little drunk so I was more talkative than usual, but I didn't do/say anything inappropriate. I feel terrible for having sexual thoughts about this girl, as if I'm betraying my girlfriend. 

I went to buy my friend a drink and as I was standing there I had a rush of guilt and excitement and shame run over me, the type I'd imagine one feels if they were cheating on someone. Because of that feeling, I feel like i committed a terrible crime.

My OCD centers around Relationship OCD and I have always had an absurd amount of guilt, overly so. I love my girlfriend so much and I feel terrible for having thoughts about this other girl, and putting myself in a position where many bad things happen for people-- drinking at bars. The night is all very fuzzy; I know I didn't act on any of these feelings, but it feels as though it's hard to pinpoint exactly where this guilt is coming from and for what reason. 

I guess my question is, should I feel guilty? Did I do anything wrong? How do I stop feeling so guilty? Is my insanely persistent feeling of guilt indicative of how I should feel, despite people telling me I shouldn't feel guilty?

Thank you very much

27 December 2014 - 22:24

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Location: London, England
Join date: Nov 2009
Thanks: 222

Hi pbrfan,

Sorry no one has replied to your post, I've been off the forums for a while and so have only just seen your post.

From what you've written you've not done anything wrong or anything to feel guilty about. This is your OCD making you feel like this.

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