Retroactive jealousy ruining marriage

13 June 2019 - 11:03

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Hi 

My husband and I attending a wedding soon.He had a one night stand with the grooms sister long before he met me.no one knows about it as she was 16 and he was 24 at the time. He has made comments that she was stunning etc when she was younger.She will be at our table at the wedding and I’m feeling quite nervous as I’ve never met her before.the other issue I have is he private messaged her about 8 years ago as he was looking for her on Facebook. He asked for her number and to meet up some time. To be fair she never gave him her number and they remain friends on Facebook. I only discovered this message a few months ago.when I confronted him about it he said that he was in contact with her as hadn’t heard from her brother for a while. He couldn’t give me an answer why he asked for her number. Anytime I do bring it up he keeps saying it was 8 years ago and forget it. It’s really getting to me and I’m really dreading this wedding. I don’t want to let my husband down as it’s one of his best friends that getting married. For about 6 months now I have been having obsessive thoughts about them having sex. Every morning when I wake up. If I wake during the night I keep thinking about it.I also keep thinking was she 16 or was she only 14 or 15. I’ve bought a book in retroactive jealousy to try and over come it, but nothing seems to work. He doesn’t seem bothered as it’s in the past, but I can’t get over it. 

Can anyone give me advice?