POCD, Unwanted thoughts, False Memories

22 September 2020 - 11:24

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Hello,

This is my first post on here so bare with me. I hope I can get some kind of support or advice as I’m literally at my whits end with feeling the way I do now. I’m suffering with POCD which is completely knew to me. I am a mummy of a 2 year old which is making it so much harder. I constantly have horrible thoughts that disgust me. But now false memories have started happening and it’s making me feel sick. I keep thinking what if anything happened during my sleep, what if I don’t something to my little one and I wouldn’t know because I was asleep. I constantly go over and over my night but that just makes things worse. I feel like the worst mum for even going through this but I would never ever harm any child especially my own. I’m really struggling to see a way out and how to be a good mum when all I want to do is avoid every situation that involves children. I don’t want my little one sleeping in my bed, I avoid bath tome, all the things I should enjoy as a parent. Please help, I’m having CBT but it’s not really helping as it’s all over the phone at the moment and I don’t feel like i get anywhere with it. Hoping there is some other mummy’s out there that can help me xxx 

 

 

 

 

 

This post has been thanked 1 time. 25 September 2020 - 18:35

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Hi
I am not a mummy but I do understand what you are going through I have had intrusive thoughts for 25 years mostly around harm.
The thoughts are so scary and anxiety provoking because they are the total opposite of a decent caring sensitive persons personality.
If you really did want to harm your child it would not bother you and you
would not feel anxious.
It's like the pink elephant try not to think of a pink elephant for 60 seconds and what will you do yeh you will think of it loads of times just like an intrusive thought the obsession is the thought.
You are a caring kind sensitive person and the thought is just a thought nothing will become of it.
Keep that chin up.

26 September 2020 - 0:45

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Thank you so much for you reply.

The last few days have been good, learning to understand they are just thoughts & let them come and go but other days are really bad. Such a horrible thing to suffer from!  

hope you are doing okay  

 

This post has been thanked 1 time. 26 September 2020 - 20:50

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If you worry about this it just proves you arent a pedophile. I struggle with pocd to and i know itd hard but it gets easier to manage once u get help.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 27 September 2020 - 8:54

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Thank you John b 

I am having cbt but it’s all over the phone at the moment and I just don’t feel like I’m benefiting it much. I have read a few books relating to it which help me to understand it all. I will continue with the help. thanks for replying. Hope your doing ok? It’s so hard because I have a 3 year old and just makes me feel like the worst mum and want to avoid anywhere with children but I can’t because that’s not fair on him x 

 

This post has been thanked 1 time. 27 September 2020 - 18:53

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Just trust me a true pedophile wouldnt worry about being one. They like it but we don't. Ocd will make u feel guilty but just remember its ocd. I am ok thank u hope u feel better soon.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 28 September 2020 - 20:11

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I have awful false memory ocd always here if you need a chat! I completely understand the pain it brings and how real it feels. Keep safe and stay strong 

29 September 2020 - 18:33

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Thanks for your reply ilovelife1 

I’m sorry you also suffer from false memories it’s so horrible isnt it! j also suffer from hit & run ocd so when I’m driving I constantly think iv hit someone and have to go back and check!! This all stemmed from pregnancy 3 years ago!  

hope we can support each other in this 

 

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