POCD - Ego Dystonic??

16 July 2019 - 1:11

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I was doing so well these last 2 weeks or so. I had some spikes but I thought I was doing much much better as I could control them. I felt really Great today as everything went back to normal. Then all of a sudden I was reading Wikipedia and ofc I notice something which would be a trigger to me. "Ego-dystonic Homosexuality" This scared me as I already know I'm gay but I had a huge fear that I was a p but I thought I was alright as I was told if the feelings are ego dystonic it's not aligned with what you want and that's not your true sexuality. Yet I read this Wikipedia link and it stated that people can be gay and still have ego dystonic reactions so now I had a huge spike as I now think I am a p as you can be one and have ego dystonic thoughts as well... Please tell me if it's ego dystonic it doesn't mean that's your true sexuality. I feel like I'm never gonna get cured at this rate...

16 July 2019 - 11:41

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Hi there. I don't even understand what the term ego dystonic means! This is looking way too deeply into things.  We may feel we are almost being negligent or obstinate about things, or just plain not caring if we stop worrying.  And yet, life carries on.  I guess that we're all  capable of being less than what we perceive as being less than perfect. But that doesn't make us evil, does it? We have to let things go. No one is gonna be perfect. I know I'm not perfect.  At sixty plus years of age, I've probably done a heck of a lot of mistakes. But we mustn't dwell on our mistakes, cos that will just drag us down, and just plain ruin our day. We need to focus on our positive attributes. We are good people cos we care, maybe way too deeply, but we care. And that is amazingly positive. 

Hope this helps a bit,

Wannabe 

16 July 2019 - 16:12

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So you're saying I'm like a p and I should accept it??

16 July 2019 - 16:13

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Sorry I didn't understand what you meant in your message thanks though for responding

16 July 2019 - 21:54

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Anyone?

17 July 2019 - 9:57

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Ego dystonic means that your ego (so the person that you've become after you've lived in this society) doesnt accept certain thoughts. You have to learn how to live with these thoughts. It does not matter what kind of thoughts you have, what matters is how you react to these thoughts and what you decide to do. Stop researching, stop thinking about this subject, stop ruminating...it will get you nowhere, not because you are what you fear, but because our mind does not work this way. Try doing stuff that you like in life, start a new relationship, find new hobbies, start doing sports...do good for yourself.

To accept certain thoughts, doesnt mean that you have to become what your thoughts tell you. So for example i've had obsessions about being gay, a pedophile, a criminal, a zoophile, i've had cancer...harm/agressive thoughts...however this doesnt mean that i identify with these thoughts, i just accept them as thoughts. From time to time there are periods (when i'm stressed) when i cant accept these thoughts and i start ruminating about the possibility that these thoughts are real and then the anxiety comes...and so on...you know how it feels!

I recommend you find a therapist and discuss your thoughts with him/her. The more you tell them about your thoughts, the easier it will be for them to help you!

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