Pocd confusion

2 June 2018 - 11:03

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Hi, I am a 17 year old male who has had(I hope) POCD for a year. I posted on this forum like a month ago and I have been ok since, but now it's kind of come back, but in a different way so I cannot assure myself it's POCD anymore.
So it is like this: My POCD usually revolves around kissing. Before I had real anxiety when I checked if I liked kissing kids, but never have I liked it. For quite some time after that I didn't check on that anymore and instead pictured kissing girls of my age, liked it of course etc.
But yesterday it hit me again, I saw a pretty little girl, she was like 10, and a thought of kissing her came into my head (I didn't want it to) and it felt like I actually liked it, before anxiety kicked in. I freaked out of course, and checked it for hours. But this time it was very hard to assure myself I don't like it, I really had to focus hard on the fact it was a kid. So could it be that I just liked the thought of kissing and not the kid, because I fantasize about girls my age so much and it has become a reflex reaction? I know i like kids but ussually in a way one would like a stuffed toy or a pet, I don't find childish characteristics arousing. But this thing yesterday really got me doubting that.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 2 June 2018 - 15:14

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Thanks for your reply, feeling much better now. It's just that POCD always finds new ways to trick you, and the only way to stop it is tell yourself it is not true even when you feel it completely is. If you determined it is not true once, then stick with it, it won't change.

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