please help me, POCD

27 October 2020 - 13:10

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Hi

Well, I have suffered from POCD since I was 14 (today I am 19).  What happens is this: until a few days ago, I knew how to perfectly differentiate a true excitement from a groinal response, but now that has changed.  When I am comfortably aroused, by some normal content, I feel light chills in my legs, as well as a very good feeling in my belly and below. 

Yesterday, on [comment edited by Moderator] a photo of a child of about 4 years old in a situation of sexual abuse appeared.  I did not feel excitement but a strong anxiety, which made my chest ache.  However, I felt a spasm (it wasn't a shiver, it was like a “nudge” in my leg. It happened three times in a row. Usually, in good excitement, I don't feel the shiver happening so many times in a row. In addition, the delicious feeling in my belly  didn’t happen when I saw the picture of the child 

Do you think it was a real excitement? I’m asking this because I’m afraid that feeling in my leg means something. During the day, I feel a lot of spasms  , which has nothing to do with excitement, but even so, I was worried. The feeling of good excitement and the feeling I had when I saw the photo [comment edited by Moderator] are not the same, but I am still concerned with thinking that it means something 

Thank you and sorry for the English, it is not my native language.

27 October 2020 - 13:46

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I forgot to mention: I was paying a lot of attention to my legs at that moment, like, all my attention was on my legs

This post has been thanked 1 time. 27 October 2020 - 14:01

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OCD mate. 

You paid attention to your legs so no wonder they twitch.

Stop with the experimentation and don't over-think this stuff.

27 October 2020 - 15:11

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at times it makes a lot of sense, but right after that, my anxiety returns and I can only think that this in my leg meant real excitement, even though all the good feeling didn’t happen and I was almost sick with anxiety  seeing that photo ...

This post has been thanked 1 time. 27 October 2020 - 15:36

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It's rough I know.

The cognitive aspect of CBT will help you to understand that none of this stuff is real.

Like when I had Harm OCD I was terrified of stabbing someone. I was always testing myself with scenarios to see how I would feel about this and that to do with harm.

Ruminations and such. 

We have to stop that.

We must not run these tests. It never helps.

After an obsessional thought we should sit with the angst without doing compulsions, even mental.

 

27 October 2020 - 20:33

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thank u, johna, you really helps me

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