14 July 2019 - 17:56

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Sometimes my pocd is downright terrifying. Sometimes when I see two children my mind immediately asks itself which one I would rather have sex with. I always try to tell myself none but my mind forces me to choose one. I always choose the one that's the most mature but I still hate it. Like one time I was really anxious about girls butts and my mind forced me to compare. I chose the bigger one and after I begin to get anxious cause I begin to feel like I made my choice based on a slight attraction I have to the child. After I'm terrified about why I chose in the first place and I get really anxious. Has anyone else with pocd experienced this? How do you get past it?

14 July 2019 - 18:19

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Hi Hulk.

What you’re saying sounds totally normal under the guise of OCD. It’s the typical pattern that OCD follows; you see children, you become anxious, you fear feeling attracted to them and so you feel the need to do a compulsion to overcome. The compulsive behaviour here is deciding which one you find more attractive. You do this not because it is a genuine sexual interest that needs to be embraced, but because you feel it will resolve the anxiety. Also you OCD knows that actual pedophiles have preferences in the same way we all do for whatever we’re attracted to, and so in making you feel like you have a “preference” this reinforces the idea that there is a sexual interest there. 

But it isn’t real. An actual pedophile would never have to force themselves to feel attracted to children, they would just know what they like when they see it. What you need to do is stop making these frivolous comparisons, your OCD will continue to tempt you into doing so, but you need to just ignore it, look at the children and acknowledge them, then look away and think about something else, convinced that you have no opinion of them. Do this, and the power of the OCD will be instantly reduced. It only prevails with the aid of its victim. 

I hope you’re feeling better soon. God bless you. 

Richie. X

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