1 August 2018 - 0:38
So I am a 17 year old male, been fighting with POCD for a year and recently finally put an end to it (researched the thing thoroughly), had it real bad for a while. Stoped being anxious, still had automatic body responses to children but I know they mean nothing since I don't like those responses. So far so good.
The problem is this, kind of hard to explain: since I created an involuntary arousal response to kids, I get the same response towards girl who are "baby-faced", look younger etc. but in this situation it doesn't bother me, I even like it up to a point I remember that these are charactheristics that are somewhat childlike, then I find it repulsive. I like more mature ones too, of course.
I should also mention that I probably have an bit of an infantilism fetish (I love baby talk, cuddling and stuff like that), which causes even more confusion.
I am peaceful because I know I would never hurt anyone, and don't like actual kids in that way. Still it kind of bugs me sometimes.
I wanted to post this since i didn't see much POCD beating success stories, so I thought I would share mine.