Is this my OCD?

This post has been thanked 1 time. 25 October 2020 - 1:37

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Is this my OCD talking?

Years ago I had a partner and often we would sleep together after nights out. I don’t drink a lot.. to be honest after three drinks I am quite tipsy, and one cocktail sends me spinning.

I never forced myself on partners, although one of them has to me. He was 6ft 2 and could drink 10 drinks and would be sober after all of that. Sometimes on nights out he would drink that much and would be sober and we would naturally sleep together. Other times he or myself might be slightly tipsy and then we’d sober up and sleep together.

I keep telling myself that because he drank more and because we slept together I must have r*ped him. Even though ironically he once continued to be intimate when I fell asleep for god knows how long. Is this my OCD misinterpreting things? Does it matter if one drinks more than the other? What if he was in a worse state than I realised?

This post has been thanked 1 time. 27 October 2020 - 19:47

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That sounds like your OCD is talking. OCD tends to over analyze thoughts. This happened years ago and it sounds like you are two consenting adults and no one is forcing themselves on anyone.

People without OCD have intrusive thoughts too. They may recall something like this from years ago and just shrug it off. But brains of OCD sufferers tend to get stuck and if something does not seem right or comfortable to them, the thought may spiral into something unpleasant in their mind in the form of non-stop doubt, guilt, and anxiety.

Intrusive thoughts are just that - thoughts. Don't let them become more than that. Take them less personally and learn to let go of your emotional reaction to them.

 

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