1 December 2018 - 12:07
It’s the first day of December and I already feel anxious about Christmas. I just wanted to write this if somebody out there is feeling the same as me. I just want you to know that you’re not alone.
So I live in Norway and we celebrate Christmas on the 24th (at night). So it’s not only just my mom dad and siblings opening presents, but other family members come around 8pm ish and can stay until 1-2 am. And yes, they bring their gifts so.. opening gifts take... a long time. Everyone is in a Christmas spirit, and there’s no way to escape the feeling that Christmas is just around the corner. Last year was the worst Christmas for me, I was so anxious and exhausted and couldn’t do anything, I could barely eat because I was so scared. I stayed in my room the whole day and night. I didn’t eat, I didn’t open any gifts, only layed in my bed shaking and pinching my hands to get the awful feeling away. I didn’t dress up, I didn’t put on makeup, I didn’t do anything. Of course my family did everything they could so I could be with them and have a good time but it didn’t work, and they became sad and disappointed. So this year they’ve said that “we expect you to be upstairs with us this time”, of course that doesn’t make me less anxious. I feel nauseous just by the thought of it. I really do not look forward to it. I wish I was born in Asia or something (since they don’t celebrate Christmas the same way). It’s so extreme that I would literally just want to escape or die instead of celebrating Christmas. It does maybe sound a little too much, but it’s how I’m feeling. So basically, if you’re not looking forward to Christmas either, know that you’re not alone, because last year I felt really alone. I never thought for one sec that anyone else had it like me, but now I know that a lot of people struggle around Christmas. And to everyone who love Christmas, good for you. I’m glad that you do! Hope I will be like that one day as well, and have a great Christmas! Enjoy it.