10 May 2019 - 19:53
So my anxiety has gone and now when I see kids with certain characteristics I get a realistic enjoyable fluttery arousal/attraction feeling which is very hard to distinguish from the same feeling for adults. This lasts for a few seconds and feels normal, like an urge, but then I realise what I am thinking about, start strongly fighting that feeling while my body is still like forcing me to feel it. Like, I need to think about it longer to make it stop. I successfully fight the urge to ruminate and keep telling myself it is not real but sometimes it is easier said than done. Seems like I have wired the wrong parts of my brain together and now it fires when it shouldn't. Also, I never felt this way before POCD. Any advice?