HOCD question that's driving me mad.

12 October 2018 - 11:35

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Hello All, 

The current issue I am having that every time I say I don't want to have sex with a man a voice in my head either says 'Yes you do' or 'What if I do' and I can never get an answer to this question. Before I was 100% sure that I didn't want to but now all I have is doubt. I don't want to but my mind keeps telling me I do and I can't stand it. Is this normal for HOCD? If so why does it happen?

Cheers!

This post has been thanked 1 time. 12 October 2018 - 13:25

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Yes, I get it all the time but with different themes. It's your OCD wanting to fill everything with doubt. I'm scared of believing delusional things right now, and I could always say to myself "That's a bizarre thought, you don't believe that", then my mind goes "Yes  you do" "You believe it" etc... It's exhausting I know.

But it just shows that you can't overcome OCD this way, by reassuring yourself you don't feel a certain way or believe something. OCD will get rid of that certainty too, in some way or another.

Have you tried just going "yeah, that might be true" and see what happens? It's hard I know, but the only thing that helps me is to accept uncertainty. 

12 October 2018 - 17:42

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Classic OCD case, I've had it, but in the end nothing never happened. Its only intrusive thoughts , don't worry about it.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 12 October 2018 - 20:37

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Probably all people that suffer from HOCD have these kind of automatic question/response thoughts. The best way to go about this is to ignore these thoughts. If this doesnt work (and it generally doesnt because we tend to give to much importance to every thought we have), you could try what thetherese said, yes this might be true, or i might be a little gay...or you could go full out facing these thoughts and say i'm gay and i dont care, its just a thought (this does not mean you are, but once you can convince yourself that you dont care, the thoughts wont come anymore and you will have confidence again to ask yourself the questions and the response will be different). Another option would be ok here's that thought again, do i need to know? do i want to ask these questions? no i dont, i dont care about the answer...lets see what happens, and anxiety will probably appear, you stay there with the anxiety (the anxiety will dissapear after some time).

Hope this helps! I remember how it is not knowing what to do with these thoughts...and for some time i couldnt find any solution (and even my therapist didnt know how to explain to me how to think). There are several books about intrussive thoughts, i would recommend reading Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts : A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 13 October 2018 - 12:54

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Hi All,

Thank you very much for the reply’s, I have tried doing what thetherese has suggested multiple times but for this I get nervous about it and very sad. I guess I need to let my thoughts just be with this as you guys all appear to be within agreement that’s it’s just par for the course with HOCD. Thank you all very much, I will try my best not to let this get to me and keep asking the question of myself.

Cheers! 

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