HOCD has come back again

This post has been thanked 1 time. 13 June 2019 - 21:15

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I was doing great the last couple of months apart from a few days where my ocd would spike and then I’d settle it back down again. Anyway it’s come back now again after being fine for the last while I just can’t seem to get this under control for good. Iv little to no anxiety possibly due to my meds but I still keep getting thoughts and compulsions. My main issue which I have mentioned in previous post is my issue during masturbation. Basically if I see a porn scene where there is a woman performing oral on a man I will get a sensation in my mouth and my penis will start to tense or feel weird or some sort of sensation and this then actually makes it easier or faster to ejaculate? I can’t understand this and it’s wrecking my head why is it something I hate and am absolutely terrified of making this happen? Same sort of thing if I’m having sex with my gf I’ll think something gay like picture a man and I feel I can ejaculate? Is this groinal response or something worse? I’m just tired of it now I keep testing and trying to figure out what it is sometimes I can recreate it thinking or looking at something else but it feels forced and it dosnt happen as quick as with the gay stuff? Then there’s times it’s under control and it’s not as severe or maybe my mentality is better and I know it’s just ocd? Basically I would just like to know if anybody else suffers like this? I’m terrified I’m gay or bi it’s actually my biggest fear iv been suffering from this for 11 years I’m 26 now and I’m just tired of it now. Please any sort of feedback would be great 

14 June 2019 - 10:33

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Wow man,11 years that s very rough,yes i kind of get the same feelings,it s a combination of anxiety with groinal response with fake attraction,with bad habbits and so on

14 June 2019 - 10:41

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Would being gay be the end of the world? We live in a relatively tolerant society these days thankfully. 

Wannabe 

14 June 2019 - 11:38

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Are you saying you think I could be? 

16 June 2019 - 6:49

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No. Just saying each to his own. It's about being yourself and being proud of yourself, regardless of sexuality, creed, nationality etc. You are the person you are, and that is really special. We are all unique individuals, and that is great isn't it?
Wow!
Wannabe

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