Help Me! OCD with depersonalization

5 August 2014 - 9:16

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So I have harm OCD, and am on newish medication. I just woke up in the middle of the night feeling panicky, and I was agonizing over whether or not "I thought about hurting someone before waking up, and if by waking up in that moment and moving I started to act on my thoughts." Then I felt this overwhelming disconnect from my body. Like, I felt like I wasn't inside myself. This made me freak out over whether or not I was in control of my body, and I became terrified that I'd go hurt a family member. I kept feeling these moments where my body tensed and I didn't feel in control. Was that me starting to act on something? Have I done something wrong? I'm afraid to go back to sleep, because I'm afraid I'll wake up not in control and hurt someone. I never felt so disconnected from my body like that before. I just freaked my mother out by telling her "I feel disconnected from my body. What if I hurt someone" and she said it's my medication doing this so me. That's possible. But what I keep agonizing over are those moments where I felt like I wasn't in control and tensed up. Was that my imagination playing tricks on me, or was I starting to act on my fears? Please help! I'm so freaked out, and I refuse to go back to bed even though it's 4:16am where I am. 

5 August 2014 - 14:56

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A common feeling that comes when you have panic attacks is feeling as though you are disconnected from your body, feeling like you're not in reality, and sometimes it can feel like you're watching yourself from afar like on a tv or in a movie. I have panic disorder and I do get these kinds of feeling sometimes with my panic attacks, so its actually quite normal. I try and engage myself in something that I know I will give my full attention to. Listening to some calm music, or your favourite music can help calm you down.

Taking new medications can cause sleep interruptions and insomnia, but me and no one else on this forum is a doctor, so you should either talk to your GP or your psychiatrist if this kind of thing happens frequently.

All the best!

8 August 2014 - 22:47

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yes even playing a game on your mobile may do the trick. just keeps your mind in the moment

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