feeling really low need to write

26 December 2014 - 11:10

Profile Image
Forum User
Join date: Jul 2014
Thanks: 11

Boxing day iv left my family house to come out for a walk so I can sit and cry. Neice and nephew around love them but thoughts jeep happenimg and iv had enough. How many more years can I keep suffering I just can't do this anymore I can't pretend to be normal I'm not I'm misrable my life is miserable because of these thoughts.

Pages

26 December 2014 - 14:22

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Dec 2014
Thanks: 488

I know what you mean. I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. Christmas can be a real crucible for this kind of thing with over-excited kids bouncing off the walls. I had a bit of that to contend with yesterday and it's exhausting when it's bad. It can flip you out of a calm good mood quickly into a maelstrom of anxiety, doubt and panic. The setting and the transition makes for a deeply unpleasant experience.

Have you ever tried meditation? Another forum user mentioned maybe starting a kind of meditation circle, as otherwise it can be difficult to organise/motivate yourself to do it.

How about therapy?  Had any? Any good?

I hope things calm down and you can have a better time. I'm sorry it's this way. I feel your pain cos I've felt similar. I'm sure a lot of people reading this have.

David.

26 December 2014 - 17:04

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Jul 2014
Thanks: 11

Thank you, you described it accurately I think literally spiralled downwards so quickly felt so awful all day and still do I'm sick of leading this life I reality really am. I have had therapy and am awaiting more to start i take medication as well but I seem forever stuck in this never ending circle of misery and self hatred. A few people have mentioned minfulness to me which I need to look into is that what you mean?

26 December 2014 - 20:03

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Dec 2014
Thanks: 488

Kind of. I believe the state of "mindfulness" is kind of the aim of meditation - to employ one of a series of tricks to take you out of your mind/ego/self/whatever you want to call it, it into that state of kind of mindless nothingness - you may have experienced this while immersed in an activity like painting a picture, knitting, playing a game, watching a movie, or just daydreaming. Well I suppose meditation aims to get into that kind of state by just sitting, doing nothing, and trying not to engage with the thoughts. And apparently if you can do this once or twice a day, it has gradual benefits in terms of having more control over your thoughts. This is what I keep hearing anyway. But most people dont commit to it and keep it up, (e.g. me!). So I guess that was the idea of the meditation circle. 

I know what you mean about being sick of it all, I really do. I wish it were a simple proposition. But it's more like a very tricky/subtle puzzle.

27 December 2014 - 5:18

Forum User
Join date: Nov 2014
Thanks: 34

Hello can't type much for I'm on my phone. But at this very point in time I'm in the same exact situation. Same exact one. I just want to cry under the stars but I'm trapped in this house with a fake smile on. My family is the kind that thinks ocd is just a way of thinking and can be "gotten over with" . We're suffering together. Literally same situation. I'll be strong if you be strong! Good luck to us.

27 December 2014 - 7:51

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Jul 2014
Thanks: 11

Thank you I hope you got through your day.

27 December 2014 - 18:16

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Dec 2014
Thanks: 488

I bet - so many of us are trapped in these social nightmares around christmas time. It's such a vulgar contrast of what is supposed to be good things shattered by inappropriate horrible things. I think that's why it's so upsetting. It's intruding on something sacred with things that really have no business there. And we feel horrible for allowing that to happen. Like what's wrong with us!? Of course it's not even our fault though.

I hope you are all making it through this weird time of year OK. Be nice to yourselves.

27 December 2014 - 18:41

Forum User
Location: Lancashire (England)
Join date: Jan 2009
Thanks: 165

Sisyphus wrote:
Have you ever tried meditation? Another forum user mentioned maybe starting a kind of meditation circle, as otherwise it can be difficult to organise/motivate yourself to do it.

It was me, I've started a new thread about it:  Meditation Circle  Not exactly mindfulness since I hadn't heard of mindfulness when Tricia first started the idea a few years ago, but it does come down to a similar thing I suppose, it's all about focusing your attention - all types of meditation are mostly about that I think, it's just the details that vary, depending on what suits your particular way of thinking best.

27 December 2014 - 21:48

Forum User
Location: London, England
Join date: Nov 2009
Thanks: 222

Sisyphus wrote:
I believe the state of "mindfulness" is kind of the aim of meditation - to employ one of a series of tricks to take you out of your mind/ego/self/whatever you want to call it, it into that state of kind of mindless nothingness 
Incorrect.

Mindfulness is about being aware of yourself and of the here and now without being judgemental not about mindless nothingness.

See What does being mindful mean?

28 December 2014 - 0:17

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Dec 2014
Thanks: 488

Quote:
Incorrect. Mindfulness is about being aware of yourself and of the here and now without being judgemental not about mindless nothingness. See What does being mindful mean?

Well that'll learn me to check wikipedia before I try to recall what something means eh

30 December 2014 - 18:40

Forum User
Location: Lancashire (England)
Join date: Jan 2009
Thanks: 165

That reminds me of a website I once came across that kept talking about "mindfulness meditation" (from the context, that was clearly what it meant), but unluckily, they had an overactive spellchecker, so nearly every time it came out as "mindless

Pages