Definitely gay

11 June 2019 - 21:24

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I don't watch Love Island but was flicking through the channels and it was on and these guys were going around topless and I feel like my heart skips a beat and I get intense feelings in my chest like nervousness and get weird feelings down there like I am getting turned on.  Then there is good looking women and I like the look of them but my body doesnt react in any way to them.  I am dating a woman at the moment in real life and when I kiss her I like it but dont get as aroused as I used to in my teens or 20's.  Im mid 30's now.  When I kiss her I get a slight semi.  In my 20's I would be getting much more aroused.

I really feel like I am gay now.  That I was born gay but somehow fooled myself or was capable of being aroused by women in my teens and 20's but not anymore and only men do it.  I hate it.  I am watching this show now to see how I react.

 

FML

11 June 2019 - 23:52

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Do you feel bad?

12 June 2019 - 3:11

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Hi Dave,

It is 3am here and I can’t sleep. OCD has completely taken over my life. I literally feel completely numb at the moment and I don’t know what to do. It’s like I can’t feel anything. My identity is gone. I just ‘feel’ completely gay. 

I have the most wonderful girlfriend and I’m scared I’m going to have to break up with her and start dating guys. Why is this happening to me? Fml.

My mum is super supportive and she knows everything but I’m scared to talk to her about how I’m feeling in case I accidentally come out or something. This fear is driving me insane 24/7, I just don’t feel like myself anymore. 

At the moment I am just feeling completely numb all the time. Like I’m not finding joy in anything and I don’t know how to move forward. Like in the 4 years I have had this I’m pretty sure that I always knew I was straight deep down. But this reassuring feeling is gone now.... I feel like i’m at the end of my world. 

I’ve not had a crush on a single guy.... ever.... why the actually hell am I feeling like this? I need immediate help 

4 July 2019 - 22:08

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I am seeing a common theme in many posts I've read and that is the openness to the belief that some unseen force can take control of our decision making skills as well as our actions.  And there's always a lot of anxiety involved.  I've had horrible intrusive thoughts many years ago (they do go away) and I believe that they are merely temptations gone horribly awry.  Just like when you were a kid and you were tempted to steal candy.  You couldn't control the thought it just popped in there.  But it came and you had to make a decision to steal it or not.  It's the same with intrusive thoughts.  You (we) have to decide to cede power to the temptation or not and that's the end of it. 

For some reason, the area of the brain that reacts to these temtations has gone haywire somehow (genetics, environment, falling off of the roof and landing on your head, whatever the case may be)  so we must structure our lives accordingly.  That means not making hasty decisions and not rushing to judgement.  We are allowed to take our time and think things through which is good because we really need to.

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