Confiding in others about pocd

23 September 2020 - 21:33

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Hello everyone. I’m new here and I need some support I’m freaking out about something and can’t tell how irrational it is...? Does anyone else worry about your pocd being found out and ruining your reputation?? I realized I’ve been struggling with bouts of POCD on and off since my teens when I was younger I stumbled across pedophiles talking about their attractions online and that’s when the intrusive thoughts got stuck in my mind. I started to wonder if I had these feelings too. I then confided in someone that I felt I had this attraction. I didn’t realize at the time that these thoughts weren’t real and they were just being influenced by what I read. The friend didn’t seem to bat an eye and we stayed friends for a few years afterwards until we lost touch years ago. But when I told them about it I felt immediately sick afterwards. I knew it didn’t feel right. Now I realize what this actually was all about and I’m so afraid that one day that old friend will find me and tell people about what I had said and no one will believe my side of the story and my life will be ruined! Does anyone else have an experience like this? Is this just another irrational obsession now? I’m so scared and alone and I can’t tell the closest people in my life about this. Please help

This post has been thanked 2 times. 27 September 2020 - 1:16

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This is a very scary thing, it’s completely understandable that you wouldn’t want anyone to know and misinterpret what you are feeling. When I told my parents about ocd, I left out the pocd thoughts because it was hard to voice out loud and they don’t even know that’s a thing. All of you’re fears are completely understandable. But I don’t believe your friend would do that if they didn’t even bat a eye when you told them. In fact they may have even forgotten about it. 

27 September 2020 - 2:09

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I wouldn’t tell anyone about these POCD thoughts unless they’re a really close friend whom you can trust or your family, or a therapist. This is a very sensitive topic, and extremely graphic and triggering to many. Not many people know about POCD, and some ignorant folks may even call you a pedophile (I’ve read it happen to some POCD sufferers, which is really unfortunate).

I told my family, but I could never tell a friend, because I know they won’t understand (I told them I was scared I was gay or bisexual because of OCD and they dismissed it and said they didn’t think OCD can do that). Can you image if I told them about POCD or ZOCD?

28 September 2020 - 21:50

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Thank you Izzy... and MrConfusedGuy that’s exactly how I feel which is why i’m in such distress... I didn’t understand that  I was having an intrusive thought at the time so I just casually expressed my thoughts as if they were real! I feel awful having someone out there possibly thinking I’m a p.... do you think it’s worth it to try and get back in contact with them and explain the situation? Or would that make it worse maybe?

This post has been thanked 1 time. 28 September 2020 - 22:28

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Nooo, absolutely not. I’d just ignore it and move on, to be honest with you. You’d be surprised how often people tend to forgot about things. 

29 September 2020 - 5:39

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You’re right! Thank you so much. 

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